margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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