I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize