batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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