I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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