Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
