hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
babies were throwing up all over the place
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
