Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
