I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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