so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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