: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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