Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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