Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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