that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
