i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
