He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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