i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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