forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
