drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
