whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
