i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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