just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
