so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
