ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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