Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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