How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
