Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
