but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
