chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
