Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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