I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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