I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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