It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
