office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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