you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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