I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
