Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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