just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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