I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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