cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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