I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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