he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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