i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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