did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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