is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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