I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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