I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
