i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
