nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
