I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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