Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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