my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
