Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
