you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
