another moral hangover. fuck.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
