More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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