i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize