There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
