I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
