Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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