Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
