i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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