Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
