Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Randomize