he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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