Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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