Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
