so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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