theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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